So this blogger walks into a bar…

If blogging was like walking into a bar, then bloggers would be that girl on top of the bar counter double fisting b-52s and tequila shots, that girl whispering to her BFFs, that girl at the corner pretending to like being alone but really hoping someone buys her a drink, and finally, that girl you just want to kiss and fall madly in love with. And what about male bloggers? For this post, you get to wear those fishnet stockings and 4-inch heels and live your fantasies, cos I’m serious… bloggers are like that girl at the bar.

• The slut: These bloggers have an opinion on everything, and they love to talk about it. They flirt with many fancies—cooking, memoirs, current events, you name it, they’ve already blogged about it. They update their blogs thrice a day on a slow day, and are always on top of all categories. A lot of them are part of blogging directories, and take up every blogging contest/challenge in the community with gusto. They read (or at least pretend to have read) every blog that’s updated and leave short, encouraging comments on all of them. Needless to say, they have great traffic to their blog owing to the sheer number of blogs and topics they cover. They’re ranked high on the blogging directories, but they’re not taken very seriously by their peers who wonder, do these bloggers have a life?
• The prude: These bloggers think their opinion is special, and that it should be shared with the chosen few who really deserve it. So they blog selectively, read other blogs selectively and leave intellectually superior comments on them to distinguish themselves from other casual readers. If their inspiration ever wanders from their favorite topic, they quickly rein it back in, or write about it on another blog… dedicated to that topic. These bloggers are quite passionate about their topic, and are often quite good. They have a relatively smaller but loyal following, because readers either love their blog or go “yawn”!
• The babe: These bloggers have it nailed. They may or may not be extraordinarily intellectual or creative, but they are certainly loved by all. They are consistent but not afraid to experiment. They read a lot of other blogs and leave insightful comments. They flirt too, they wing it too, but they pull it off so well that you feel they really read your blog and empathize with you. They have mastered the delicate and slightly flaky ways of the blogging world. These bloggers have everything—high traffic, high directory rankings, genuine readers and genuine admirers… including me. I wanna be you!
• The wallflower: These bloggers are a little shy, a little conscious of their writing skills and a little too proud to market themselves. After all, their blog rocks! They lurk at the corners of the blogging world, quietly typing away at blogs, upset that there is no respect for talent anymore. They detest the sluts for getting all the glory, pity the prudes for their superiority complex and love-hate the babes for being so perfect. The wallflowers often have well-designed, intricately thought of blogs, and if you ever chance upon one, you’ll probably stay a while. If you ever find them, that is. Blowing your own trumpet isn’t so bad all the time.
• And finally, the hot-cold: These bloggers—and I’m one of them—are confused. We passionately write four blogs in three days and then disappear for a month. We write about this and that. We pounce on one or two blogging contests but feel like we’re intellectually whoring by participating in too many of those. We sometimes leave inspiring comments on blogs we really enjoy, and sometimes leave comments on lukewarm blogs because that blogger did so on ours. We often lose the opportunity to repeat traffic because we’re either forgotten by the time we write again or write about something entirely different. So our traffic is often sporadic and our blog makes you wonder what it’s all about. Thankfully, most hot-cold bloggers are often new in town and eventually find their own personality, their own gang and hopefully, their muse.

So who are you going home with tonight?