So this blogger walks into a bar…

If blogging was like walking into a bar, then bloggers would be that girl on top of the bar counter double fisting b-52s and tequila shots, that girl whispering to her BFFs, that girl at the corner pretending to like being alone but really hoping someone buys her a drink, and finally, that girl you just want to kiss and fall madly in love with. And what about male bloggers? For this post, you get to wear those fishnet stockings and 4-inch heels and live your fantasies, cos I’m serious… bloggers are like that girl at the bar.

  • The slut: These bloggers have an opinion on everything, and they love to talk about it. They flirt with many fancies—cooking, memoirs, current events, you name it, they’ve already blogged about it. They update their blogs thrice a day on a slow day, and are always on top of all categories. A lot of them are part of blogging directories, and take up every blogging contest/challenge in the community with gusto. They read (or at least pretend to have read) every blog that’s updated and leave short, encouraging comments on all of them. Needless to say, they have great traffic to their blog owing to the sheer number of blogs and topics they cover. They’re ranked high on the blogging directories, but they’re not taken very seriously by their peers who wonder, do these bloggers have a life?
  • The prude: These bloggers think their opinion is special, and that it should be shared with the chosen few who really deserve it. So they blog selectively, read other blogs selectively and leave intellectually superior comments on them to distinguish themselves from other casual readers. If their inspiration ever wanders from their favorite topic, they quickly rein it back in, or write about it on another blog… dedicated to that topic. These bloggers are quite passionate about their topic, and are often quite good. They have a relatively smaller but loyal following, because readers either love their blog or go “yawn”!
  • The babe: These bloggers have it nailed. They may or may not be extraordinarily intellectual or creative, but they are certainly loved by all. They are consistent but not afraid to experiment. They read a lot of other blogs and leave insightful comments. They flirt too, they wing it too, but they pull it off so well that you feel they really read your blog and empathize with you. They have mastered the delicate and slightly flaky ways of the blogging world. These bloggers have everything—high traffic, high directory rankings, genuine readers and genuine admirers… including me. I wanna be you!
  • The wallflower: These bloggers are a little shy, a little conscious of their writing skills and a little too proud to market themselves. After all, their blog rocks! They lurk at the corners of the blogging world, quietly typing away at blogs, upset that there is no respect for talent anymore. They detest the sluts for getting all the glory, pity the prudes for their superiority complex and love-hate the babes for being so perfect. The wallflowers often have well-designed, intricately thought of blogs, and if you ever chance upon one, you’ll probably stay a while. If you ever find them, that is. Blowing your own trumpet isn’t so bad all the time.
  • And finally, the hot-cold: These bloggers—and I’m one of them—are confused. We passionately write four blogs in three days and then disappear for a month. We write about this and that. We pounce on one or two blogging contests but feel like we’re intellectually whoring by participating in too many of those. We sometimes leave inspiring comments on blogs we really enjoy, and sometimes leave comments on lukewarm blogs because that blogger did so on ours. We often lose the opportunity to repeat traffic because we’re either forgotten by the time we write again or write about something entirely different. So our traffic is often sporadic and our blog makes you wonder what it’s all about. Thankfully, most hot-cold bloggers are often new in town and eventually find their own personality, their own gang and hopefully, their muse.

So who are you going home with tonight?

Blog Directory BlogJunta- where Bloggers meet

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About chaitanya

Since the day I realized that making two words rhyme was the first step to poetry (a step I've now thankfully outgrown) I've been writing. I've just been too shy to blog. But What is the Question? is a baby step toward exploring my blogability. I aim to post twice a month and I'll try my very best to not bore you, because I hate boring blogs too! Keep checking back in!

Posted on April 19, 2013, in Sunny & Funny and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 67 Comments.

  1. u nailed it there…..my mind went flitting from one blog to another that i have ever read, thinking “ah! yes ,suits this blog, and yea, suits that blog!” (and openly wondering where I fit into….hey, i think i know!) well, made a good read!

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  2. I like dyour post but feel slut is too big a word to use for anyone esp when you have pulled their legs so awfully. Lolz.

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    • Numerounity, political correctness has never been my strength. That said, I also thought that that word was too strong, esp since it applies to the intellectual realm of blogging. But I decided to go with it since I’m drawing parallels, and it is also from the point of view of a blogger who resents their popularity just a wee bit. So I’m also pulling my own leg in there.

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    • this could be a ‘Babe’

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  3. That is a breathtaking intro!

    Somewhere along that line, many of us would find a tunic that fits closely. I am happy for the clarity and lightness with which those species were sketched.

    Come to think of it, our blogs are inextricably woven with our ethos, our lives. They are a mirror to what we are: innocent, attention seekers, vain, sober, serene, hypocrites, loudmouths, sirens, con-artists and cretins. In that sense, you have wonderfully captured the shades of humanity in your post.

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    • Thanks Umashankar! I’m glad that you were able to read the post with the same spirit it was written in- that although I may have made fun of a few types of bloggers, there’s nothing personal about it. In fact, I may eventually even become one of them!

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  4. Read this post a couple of days ago and was wondering which category I fall into. Guess, i fall under each and every category you mentioned here (in both real and virtual world [even though i am neither intelligent nor have good writing skills]).

    we all have split personalities and exhibit diverse behavioral traits.

    love the way you write! hi5!

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  5. Thanks Debajyoti! I’m glad you enjoyed reading the post! I guess whichever category you fit into, there are pluses and minuses for each, regardless of my points of views. In the end, all that matters is that we are honest with our blogging, cos it shows, and it’s always appreciated.

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  6. Hahaha. I enjoyed that. Very well sorted. 😀

    Yeah, I guess I keep flitting in and out of each category at various times. 🙂

    A good read.

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  7. “Thoughts on life, the universe and everything”… You seem to be a hitchhiker too. 🙂

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    • Ha ha, I could recite the book backwards! It’s good to meet another hitchhiker, I guess the odds of that are one in a phone number 😉

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  8. You have classified us bloggers so well. It reminds me of the phylum-class-subclass dissection I had to refer to to identify a species in the college lab! 🙂 And this is some great writing as well. It’s very rare to find someone who write so well without latching onto complicated sentences and tongue-twisting words!

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    • Thanks Garfield! Blogging has actually helped me throw away the flowery and complicated writing styles, because I’ve started to realize that they take away from reader engagement.

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  9. ROFL, I so wanna be a mixture of babe and wallflower but sadly I am yet to discover myself in blogging. My funda is simple – Since I am nobody, write simple so that you can attract few readers.

    And Chaitanya this is the best post I have read on bloggers. For me, you are the BABE! 🙂

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  10. Haha.. loved it.
    I am “the Hot-cold” as well, with a dash of “the prude & the babe”.

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  11. While going through the entire post I was just thinking that how I am going to associated every category that you have specified here. Though you have strongly represented your ideas but t was really good to read. Will be visiting back for more such strong and effective reading fun.

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    • Thanks Kumar! I’m glad you enjoyed reading the post. I agree that my words are strong, but there is nothing personal about it. The truth is that these categories do exist, albeit in varying degrees!

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  12. Bar was full of surprises..
    I really enjoyed my maiden visit

    looking forward to more 🙂

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    • Thanks Jyoti. You can make some really interesting friends at the bar!
      Didn’t realize your comment hadn’t gotten posted, sorry about that.

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  13. Well, you broke the ice. So far I was laid back in the blogsphere with my high horse writing. I was so indolent that I didn’t want to know where I stood. I’m happy to have read this post which showed my real color. Thanks dear, rightly or wrongly I belong to the hot and cold.

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    • Thanks for reading! I too belong in the hot-cold, and I think it’s a great place to be. You can go anywhere from here, or just choose to stay here and have a rainbow of blogs!

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  14. InnerDialect

    Wow wow wow … you nailed it !

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  15. ha ha ! That was a fun post .. I think I belong to the hot-cold variety too .. You have a lovely blog ..

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    • Thanks for stopping by, Bhargavi! Yes, the hot-cold is a very popular category, esp because there’s so much to write about on only one or two blogs!

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  16. Hhahahahahaahahahahah!!! Now I am confused if I should call myself a wallflower or a babe….yes I am being a staunch Narcissist!!! Totally loved this post love! and u are a BABE too.

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    • Thanks for reading, and for the compliment! Don’t we all want to be the babe! In reality, we all have shades of more than one of these characters. It’s just what is most prevalent that defines us.

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  17. Super likey!

    You forgot another category of bloggers – the dreaded, the famed, ‘The Troll’.

    So, I’m going to fill that gap for you and demonstrate how a Troll works. (It’s my first attempt at it, (honestly!), so please be kind if I don’t pull it off! I’ll try to classify the commenters here as per your list.

    (Come on, admit it! You’d have done that mentally already)

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    • Hmm… when I saw the list of comments you left, I was kinda thinking of the S-word… spam (sheepish grin)
      But it turns out, you’re a real person who read y post quite thoroughly and took to it enthusiastically! I’m flattered! Thanks a bunch!
      And oh, I know I wrote this post and I stand by it, but I didn’t moderate all your comments… you know why! So no hard feelings 🙂

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      • Oh, it’s still coming… I think I’ll start a barfight today

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      • I see that you hate bar fights! 😦

        I’ve bookmarked your blog. Keep writing good stuff I’ll blow hot, blow cold meanwhile. 🙂

        anyway, fun exercise… back to work! ciao!

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      • Well, I’ve won too many barfights… seriously!
        Blow hot, blow cold, and then ride the waves back to my blog every now and then!
        Your comments, both published and unpublished, entertained me, thanks for making me laugh!

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  18. So I have been a wall flower for so much of my time, but I think we are in the prudent part of evolution, and on our way to becoming the BABE…hope that sorts itself out.

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  19. No option of dowdy aunt? 🙂 That I think is the category I fit into 🙂 Trying to be one of the boys and lapsing into pontificating every now and then 🙂 Evoking yawns either way 🙂

    Great post – loved the light touch you managed. To poke fun without wounding is a rare talent.

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    • Thanks Suresh! Haha, So far, I’ve left out troll and dowdy aunt… a few more and I’ll do a part 2!
      When I get into the pontificating moods, I pull out my diary… it’s a nice way to fall asleep!

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  20. Hey Chaitanya, your crisp writing keep me looking for more in your blog… I am awarding you Liebster award,,,, you can collect it here.. http://namrota.blogspot.in/2013/05/liebster-love.html 🙂

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  21. Haven’t a clue where I fit. Will let others decide. If they have the time and I promise to take it on the chin, they’ll let me know 🙂

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  22. okay…so we have another categorization!
    Analyzing things to the best…nicely articulated!! like like 🙂

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  23. Great analysis!
    Now, who am I?
    A “wallflower” perhaps!

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  24. Great classification Chaitanya. Thanks for liking my works. I am glad i discovered you that way. you must be analysing my comment and putting me in a category. will simplify it for you. As per your classification (which is quite good, and covers most of the aspects of fellow bloggers) i am a wallflower, perhaps.

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  25. well nice actually real good nice analysis the only thing well female Casanova could have been a better option to slut, though I understand it’s in a lighter vein but I speak on the behalf of all the women who can’t concentrate and be content with only one content, one sphere of work, one topic, one strain of thought or even one man for the entire life. But yes a real nice write up

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    • Thanks for dropping by, Datta. Point taken, the flirt is another way to describe a female Casanova, but I didn’t think of it then. But jokes apart, I think it’s a talent to be able to write on such a wide variety of topics, and still draw readers in. Not everyone can do that.

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  26. This so accurately describes the different categories of bloggers. I am sure all of us fit ourselves in one of these categories. Very well thought of and written 🙂

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    • Thanks Ayushee. We do fit into some category or a combination of it, but each blogger is unique, which is why every blog is interesting in its own way. Thanks for dropping by!

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  27. haha I just might be a hot-cold wallflower

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  28. I’m a very modest wallflower 🙂 🙂 heh heh!

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  29. Hey that was an insightful post! I was wondering if I would think of these categories the next time I read someone’s blog…then I thought y typecast someone.

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    • true, everyone fits and no one fits into these categories, these categories simply pull together the salient characteristics of some blogs I’ve come across. But every blog is unique in its own way!

      Like

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